101 Ways to Truly Screw up Your Life
Posted by Jack Tellaw on August 4, 2008
Who is Jack Tellaw?
Over the past many hours I have heard people ask, who is this Jack Tellaw bloke that I have heard virtually nothing about?
Well folks, I have through the grapevines heard that a story can be told in so many diverse ways. Some ways are good and some are not so good. I have chosen to simple tell my story the way my psychotherapist saw it. Whether it turns out to be good or bad is of no real relevance to me and shouldn’t be to you neither, at least not if you’ve ever met my psychotherapist.
Jack Tellaw grew up in a minute, yet very dusty and troubled village, not from the hills of Athens, Greece. Being the only son of a Greek shipping tycoon, Jack soon became accustomed to the riches that surrounded so many of his neighbours. It was not before his 16th birthday that he came to realise that his parents were not in shipping but in farming. To be more accurate, they had twenty-eight goats and a three-legged arse, which for the most part of the winter slept in Jacks bed. Shortly after his 24th birthday his mother kicked him out of the family’s two-bedroom semidetached and semi-roofed farmhouse when Jack for the first time ever, failed to put down the toilet seat.
Disillusioned and disorientated he later that same year found a job on the docks of Athens. Three shifts into this newfound happiness his heart almost broke when he realised that the sea was too far away for comfort. He renounced his job and began his week long journey towards the Promised Land. Italy was no kinder to him than Greece had been, although the food was much better apart from missing all the pleasures of the Greek yogurt traditions. Being a waiter during the off season soon brought his memories back to his days in school. It was in particular the math part that haunted him. Math had always been a torment in his young life with no pocket calculator in sight. I guess it didn’t help any, that his teacher was convinced that math was a ruling truth in life and that he (his teacher) was the chosen messiah who was destined to make the world kneel in aw and shout “long live math” and “hail to the masters of equations”. School was also a place where solitude and isolation became a great friend in which Jack could find support and much sought after understanding.
To be continued…
